are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize