I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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