Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
