You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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