captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize