who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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