It's like God shit irony all over that family
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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