New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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