in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
