I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
