You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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