I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
