In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
