He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
