If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
he thought i was a dude.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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