my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Its about making memories worth repressing
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
