For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
