sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
