Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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