3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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