break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
