Sponge bath it is.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
