The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
