you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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