just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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