We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
