HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
you never un-have a 4some
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
