i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Randomize
