What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
