My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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