it wasn't lemon gatorade
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
