But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
