i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
