Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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