so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
