what if every blade of grass was a penis?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
