You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
