Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
