I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
