nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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