Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
