so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
