did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
