So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
