he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
