end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
