Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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