There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize