i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
