best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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