At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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