Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
