I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
