if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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