strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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