Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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