My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
he puts the penis in happiness.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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