I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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