Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
