I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
