Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize