i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
