I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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