Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
